AHSASS FEELINGS BY HEART
by The B.A
Summary: KAISA ;LAGTA HY JAB AP KISI AISY INSAAN KO SHAK K NARGY M DAKHO JO ... AP K LIYE SACH KA AIK NISHAAN HO ... JO KHUD APNI PHACHAN HO ... JO GIRY... UTHY ...PHIR GIRY... PHIR UTHY ...MAGAR UFF NY KAHY .. OR BIN KUCH KHAY .. DIHAYE BAS SUNTA CHALKA JAYE ... KHUD KO AAHNI DIWAAR BNAYE ... TO KIA HO GA AP KA AHSASS...
1. Chapter 1

SET DURING CID GRIFTAR SERIES….. FRNDZ IN THAT SERIES RAJAT IN NOT THERE IN TEAM BUT I HAVE INCLUDED HIM AND THROUGH HIS POINT OF VIEW TRIED TO SHOW…. PLZ SPARE WITH ME …..

Rajat is sitting in recliner in his room closing his eyes,,, Teary face of Abhijeet is roaming in front of his eyes,,,,he tried to get rid of that all stuff but not able to do so… and is thinking the same again and again,,,,,its already 12:30 of mid night but still no signs of sleep are seen there in his eyes…..he is again thinking the same….Abhi's teary face… his pain.. His agony,,,, his tension about his buddy all are coming again and again in front of his brain and making him feel his position …. His senior's position ,,… in whom eyes nobody has seen tears before on the matter of his memory loss but today it happened and all his juniors has seen the tough cop crying on his un ability of remembering his past and what has happened last night ,,,,,, when he heard his phone buzzing,,,, he moved to pick it up when he heard the door bell ; leaving his phone there ,,,,, he moved to open the door and found Sachin standing there …he glanced at him and then to his watch while asking him/…..

Rajat: arry sachin .. tum iss waqt … sab thek to hy ….

Sachin: kun yar.. m nai aa sakta…...

Rajat: nahi … main ny aisa kab kaha.. khair under ao….

Sachin: hum….

Both came inside after locking back the door ,, sachin sat on sofa where as Rajat brought water for him….

After placing back empty glass on sofa …Rajat initiated…..

Rajat : ab btao…..kia bat hy …..

Sachin: kuch b nai….lakin tum itny bjy bjy kun lag rahy ho … tabiat to thk hy na tmhari ….

Rajat: ain…main to thk hoon .. mjy kia hoa …. Magar tum…. Wo b itni raat gaye .. koi kam tha kia….

Sachin: nai wo bas dil bojal (sad) tha to iss liye… pahly phone try kia .. laga nai kitni bar kia … to phir yahan aa gaya … tum pick nai kar rahy thy to mjy tension hony lagi k kahn….

Rajat smiled sadly …..

Sachin: or tmhara phone…. Utha kun nai rahy thy ''''

Rajat: Phone … he searched … haan mil gay…..

Sachin: par ye band kun tha …

Rajat: main sahayd ON karna bhol gaya .. silent p tha …

SAchin: kia bat hy Rajat… kia soch rahy ho ….

Rajat: kuch b nai yar ..bas Abhijeet sir k bary m soch raha tha….

Sachin: sir k bary m…..kahin tum b tou….

Rajat: nai yaar sir k bary m aisy sochna .. main to is bary m nai soch sakta .. phir sir…. … aj jo kuch hoa ….bas … who acha nai hoa.….Abhijeet sir Daya sir ko nuqsaan pohnchain…. Ye namumkin hy .. wo aisa karna to dour aisy sochty b nai

Sachin: waqi main …. Aik bar phir ….

Rajat: matlb….

Sachin: yahi jo sir p ilzam ….SIR aj boht prashan thy …..

Rajat: haan wo to hy … sir ko aisy daikhna…..

Rajat: wo main sir sy baat kar raha tha…..pta nai ye sab k shak ki soi , Abhijet sir p hi kun aa k tikti hy …. Koi or kun nai … whi kun….

Sachin: Sahi kaha … pta hy RAjat … kabhi kabhi ye duniya waly … ap ki sari acchaion ko bhool k sirf app ki aik choti si galti ya kamzoori k peechay par jatain hy …. ….orAbhijeet sir … un k sath to yhi hota hy ….

Rajat: yaar mjy Abhijjet sir ko aisy daikhna bilkul acha nai laga .. ity mahnti , imandar or achy insan hain wo phir b ye ilzam…. ….kitny tooty hoay or kamzoor dikh rahy thy aj….( taking deep breath….)…unhain aisy daikhna ….

Sachin: ye to hy Abhijeet sir jitny marzi strong nazar aty hain par sir toot jaty hain hmessha ...

R: Hmesha... matlab...

Sachin:: Abhijeet sir p koi phli dafa ilzam ni lga Rajat ... Har var un p shak kia jata hy or har bar wo

Rajat :Kia matlab...

Sachin: :ye k Abhijeet sir ko hr dafa aisa hi face krna parta hy shak kia jata hy un p... Aik dafa to Daya sir b shak m pr gaye thy unhain ly k...

RAjat: phir kia..hoa...

Sachin:kia hoa Abhijeet sir tab b bygunah thy or ye sabit b ho gaya tha…. tb Abhijeet sir cid sy resign kr rhy thy bt Acp sir ny accept ni kia... Or Daya sir ny isi liye apni gf ko chor diya tb us ki wja sy Abhijeet sir p ilzam aya tha...

Rajat: tb Abhijeet sir hurt hoay hun gy na

Sachin:bht zada .. Magr phir sab thk ho gya..

Rajat:mgr iss dafa Abhijeet sir kuch zada hi takleef m hain...

Sachin: han iss dafa ilzam b to bht bra hy jis daya k liye wo apni jaan dy skty hain ussi p goli chalany ki ilzam ...

Rajat: han sir aj bht depress thy or thky hoay lag rhy thy .. Or Salunkhe sir wo or hi ilzam lga rhy thy...

Sachin:jab Salunke sir ny wo sab kha to sir ki ankhon m ansoo aa gaye thy...( remembers the fl scene) Salunkhe sir ny bht zada suna diya sir ko….

Rajat: han muje to bohat bura laga...sahi mein...yar...insaan tanha rehney se nahi darta...tanha honey se darta hai,...or sir ko dekh ke lag raha tha..jese wo tanha Ho gaye hon..

Sachin: han ye to sahi kaha tum ne...

Rajat: pata nahi..sir kia kar rahey hongey is waqt...

Rajat: pta hy Sachin…..bohat pehle kabhi aik baat suni thi... ke jab koi mazboot insaan andar se bikharta hai...to usey samaitna mushkil hota hai...(then after controlling his emotions) or un ko samaitney wala to pata nahi kahan hai is waqt or kis haal mein hai...

Sachin kept his hand on Rajat's shoulder and said

Sachin: mera dil keh raha hai ke sab theek ho jaye ga...tum himmat rakho...

Rajat( looked at him and smiled):muje himmat dila rahey ho ya khud ko...han... (then said) arey ...dekho.. me bhi kesa aadmi hun...jab se aye ho tumhe kuch poocha hi nahi... bolo kia logey?

Sachin (smiled and said): arey nahi kuch nai lunga... me ab ghar jaaun ga…

Rajat: nai yar aisy to nai chaly ga … tum do mint baitho m ata hoon….

Sachin: nai yar sach main dil nai hy ….

Rajat stood up and without hearing him…. Went in kitchen and brought two coffee mugs …..still the haze is coming from them…

Sachin is seeing him …. Wrinkles of worry are covering Rajat's forehead …..so

Sachin: kia bat hy Rajat ….

Rajat: hummm kuch nai ….

He picked up his phone after placing his mug on the table… dialed a number and waited…. After two rings it was taken ….

On other side a voice full of tirednessand melancholy is heard: haan bolo Rajat….

Rajat: kaisy hain app….

Voice: mai thek hoon Rajat …. Koi kam tha kia…..

Rajat: nai sir…..

Voice: us ka kuch …

Rajat: nai sir ….

Voice: ok ( and the call got cut from there)

Sachin: kiss y bat kjar rahy thy….

Rajat:( sadly) Abhijeet sir sy ….

SAchin: ( reluctantly) kiasy hain sir…..

Rajat : waisy hi jaisy subh thy…..and took a deep breath … wrinkles of depth are there on his forehead and tension is visible from his face….

Sachin: kia bat hy Rajat … both pareshan lag rahy ho ….

Rajat: yar sir…..

Sachin patted his shoulder and …

Sachin: hum …. Bas yar jaldi sy sab thk ho jaye nad stood up …..

Rajat: kahan chaly ….

Sachin: bas yar ab nikalta hoon….. both time ho gaya hy …..

Rajat: yahin ruk jao ….

Sachin: nai yaar …..

Rajat stood up …..

Sachin: koi b khabar …..

Rajat( cutting him) : bta doon ga…..

And sachin left after bidding bye to him …..

Rajat came back and sat on sofa… he again think on Sachin's comment

 **"** **Abhijeet sir p koi phli dafa ilzam ni lga Rajat ... Har var un p shak kia jata hy or har bar wo"**

His mid went back towards morning when salunkhe asked Abhijeet the same in front of whole team:kalank hy ye Abhijeet cid team p …. Kalank hy ….. aisi gandi machli jo poory talaab ko ganda kar dati hy .. or iss ny to CID ka name hi badnam kar diya….

And teary face of Abhijeet where pain is visible but still strongly he bore all….

Yes he salutes his courage and bravery and loyalty too that after almost bearing one of the most worst pains of his life but still standing like apillar….. he thought something and then after picking the keys left the house having something in mind towards HIS house…

A/N: SORRY FRNDZ… PTA NAI KIA LIKHA HY BAS PAPERS KI TENSION KO RELIEF DANY K LIYE HY YE… I M EXTREMELY SORRY TO MY ALL READERS WHO R WAITING FOR SECRET AND WEDDIN G BUT SERIOUSLY FRNDZZZ I HAVE NO TIME AS MY PAPERS R GOING JO MJY PAGAL KAR RAHY HAIN …. AND M NOT SURE ABOUT ANY THING ….EVEN NOT ABOUT MY RESULTS …. MORNING JOB .. ENENING PAPERS UFFF… BUT M TRYING TO WTRITE AND WHEN I GOT TIME .. INSHA ALLAH WILL POST…..THIS IS A JOINT VENTURE OF ME AND SOMEONE ELSE…. ( TO WHOM I M SAYING SHE KNOWS WELL…. KUN BACHY ) ABHI ISSI KO PARHO OR BTAO … KIASI HY …..

TILL THE NEXT EPI OF SECRET OR WEDDING SAYING YOU BYE …. YYOUR'S DI ….. BINT-E-ABID!


	2. Chapter 2

ASSALAM O ALIKUM ... HAPPY RAMAZAN TO ALL THE MUSLIM UMMA AND HAVE A BLESSED MONTH WITH A PLEASURABLE EID ... COMING WITH ALL HAPPINESS TO U ...

A/N: HII.. AFTER SO LONG M BACK WITH THIS…. SO NOW MOVING TOWARDS IT …. PHURRR…

A man is sitting silently on the edge of a cliff…..throwing his legs down from it..His legs are getting wet in the splashing furious waves which are hitting the rock in rage ….a same storm is folding inside him …. But his face is reflecting nothing... a dead silence ….. Stone face without even a single crease of tension or thought on it …. The deep black hole of his heart have again diminished all the things in it … yes he is angry.. Yes he is hurt… Yes he cried but now everything is again engraved in the graveyard of his heart… but yes his life is there with them and he knows it…

Rajat stop his car in front of Abhijeet's house and found the house locked … he heard a sound….

Koi faida nai hy Rajat sir .. yhan yhi mily ga…..

He turned and found Freddy standing there …. Hiding some precious pearls inside his eyes and staring the door behind him….

Tmhain kaisy pta….

17 saloon sy in k saath hoon,,,, itna to janta hoon…..

Par sir kahan hon gy ….

Beach py….

Par itni rat gaye…

Abhi to time hi kitna hoa hy …

M dakhta hoon…

Kahan ja rahy hain sir….

Abhijeet sir….

M b chalta hoon ….

Ok… chaloooo…. Both started their journey towards the beach and … after half an hour's drive… Both reach there….. They started finding him and at last found him sitting on the rock edge fighting with his own and with a stern face …

Rajat tried to move towards him when Freddy grab his arm with…..

Kahn ja rahy hain…

Freddy…. Abhijeet sir …..

He looked toward the tired stature and said …..nai ….

Par kun?

Ap nai chahty kia k wo iss sy bahr ain….

Han tou ?

Tou phir unhain akily rahny dain…. Unhain filhal kisi ki zarorat nai hy ( tears are there in Freddy's eyes ) wo khud ko shanbhalna janty hain sir … ye sab naya nai hy un k liye …..

Rajat: par ….

Freddy: sir …. Wo khud sy lar rahy hain abhi …. Or is waqt un ko kuch khana …. Sir wo phir sy band ho jain gy ….. unhain khud ko snbhalna hy sir jis k liye unhain hmari nai apni zarorat hy … wo hum nai hain sir … wo wohi hain …. Janty hain khud ko or …..

Rajat: or kia freddy….

Freddy: or khud ko hmary samny nai kholain gy sir … kabhi nai ….pathar ho jain gy phir sy …..

Rajat: par freddy ….

Freddy:thk hy sir ap ko jan hy jaiye par mera b un k sath guzry hoay saalon ka tajarba hy ye sir ….. ap ko dakh k wo normal behave karain gy but apna ghum nai khain g yap koshish b karain tab b nai …. Rajat looked at the figure lazily moving his legs in the smashing violent waves …. Still sitting and just staring the moon…. Yes the full moon….. but not a single scratch on his face which us glistening in light of moon,,,,,he is still looking when freddy who is also looking HIM… said ….

Koi faida nai ho ga sir ….. ab chalty hain….. subh tak wo khud ko sanbhal lain gy .. dakhiye ga ap …. And both moved back leaving him there as know him… the tired melancholic figure turned his head once and again turned in same position seeing the vast alone beach …..

NEXT MORNING:

Rajat entered the beauru, found all new ones there, and Freddy too….he looked around to find someone but no HE was not there till then, rajat relaxely sighed and went to his desk … its 7;45 till now,, and li8ke others he also came earlier than others as they all found no courage to face him… yes he was the first one in usual time … to come in this second home of them all… but today al others came earlier than him as nobody wants to see a lonely figure standing there without his pal …. His bhai … his goridar….. Yes they all are habitual of their presence there….. So not wanting to see him alone they first came from him…they all are looking silent…. As no chirping or scolding is here which is usual of this place in that time …..

After exact 15 minutes, he entered there, looking dull, exhausted, drained out and yes like a morose nightingale or can say a silent robot having no wrinkle on his face but his ever expressive eyes are somehow indicating it... Yes it is not easy to read them out as only a single person has that trick to read them but yes the swelling, redness, grimness and loneliness, yes the bright is diminishing from its place giving room to stiffness and blankness to reside there in.

All wished him good morning, he smiled ruefully…is that morning is really good? He thought ….. His eyes are boring pain on that call… and lips smiling inducing the worst pain he has but for all of them, he had to maintain it. He had to be strong for them… he moved towards his desk and silently started his work … yet his stature is still the same, tiring and morose …!

Rajat is observing him throughout the day…He is seeking him and observing his gestures, his thoughts, his moves … he has observed him and observed him but hasn't courage to go to him….. Till lunch time, all team is looking him… they didn't dare to ask him anything except Freddy… who finally at the time of lunch ,,… after seeing him full day doing him busy in unnecessary affairs , came to him and ….

Freddy: sir ….

Abhi: hummmma …..bolo kia baat hay … still figtating with his computer and also thoughts ….. Or pretending to be….

Freddy (softly): sir…...

abhi: (lifted up his head) .. haan bolo freddy kia bat hy ….

Freddy: sir wo….

Abhi( softly as seeing his hesitancy ) kia bat hy Freddy ,… Freddy looked him and then towards all , who have left the place earlier …..

Freddy understandingly nodded and then…

Freddy: sir plz…

Abhijeet is till then looking him ,,…

Freddy:plz sir kuch to kha lijyea…. Janta hoon sir ap ko man nai kar raha kuch b khany ka … par sir … Daya sir k liye…..

Abhi nodded with teary eyes and stood up from his chair ….. both went down to cafeteria and Freddy placed order after settling behind Abhijeet on the table… all other are somehow happy on this ….. Rajat signaled them to move as they all are done with lunch… so can Abhi easily take something.. Freddy looked at him and Rajat while making a thumbs up sign too moved …

as they all are working on that case and being a high profile case they are extremely busy now , also the tension of Daya is bothering them…..and in all that Dcp's time to time interruption is adding fuel on fire … his scolds, taunts and other things making things messy …..in all this hustle bustle Abhijeet left the beauru with extreme anger as again the same taunt and query was now punched by Dcp….. Rajat and team is bearing all this without any word as they are unable … and the person who can do something is completely silent … yes Acp sir … he watched him going but didn't stop him once or any other thing …

IN NIGHT TIME:

Rajat is again thinking all happenings ….. again the same query again the same taunt … it remembered him of his accusation … all the pain and hurt again came back … unintentionally he started comparing his position on that time with Abhijeet now ….and then realized what is Abhi's state now …..thinking all that and then talking with his friend Sachin …he slept there… still having reminiscence of his own memory and now about his dearie Abhijeet sir and also praying for Daya…..

LOG THRATY HAIN KUN MOORAD E ILZAM MUJAY

KAB MARY DARD KA IZHAR HOA AANKHOON SY

A/N: PTA NI KIA LIKHA HY PAR PLZ READ AND REVIEW … ND M UPDATING SECRET SOON…. DON'T WORRY AND THNX FOR REVIEWS TOO…AND YES AS MY EXAM GOT OVER SO M TRYING TO WRITE AND HAPPY RAMZAN TO ALL MUSLIMS... BINT-E-ABID~.


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